18.7.19, outer western Tokyo: just look at the depth of color on...

18.7.19, outer western Tokyo: just look at the depth of color on this! https://ift.tt/2YsQBY0

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9.6.19, Yokohama: aboard the Higakawa Maru. Somehow

9.6.19, Yokohama: aboard the Higakawa Maru. Somehow I’d never wondered what a foghorn might look like, but if I had I wouldn’t have pictured this bastard son of a bellows and a trumpet https://ift.tt/2SLvniP

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Woman, Crying - Eileen Chong

‘So  close  to  the  end  of  my  childbearing  life
without  children’

‘The  Girl’, Marie  Howe

I  sat  in  the  café  while  your  friend  railed  at  me
—if  you  knew  you  were  going  to  leave  why  did  you  try,
and  keep  trying—he  meant  for  children,  of  course,

though  we  did  not  have  them  in  the  end.
Which  comes  first,  blame  or  consequence?
I  sat  there,  crying,  while  waitresses  tiptoed

around  me.  One  slipped  me  a  napkin.  I’d  like
to  go  back.  I’d  like  to  have  stood  up, thrown  water
in  his  face,  smashed  the  plates  onto  the  ground,

and  yelled  It’s  none  of  your  fucking  business!  I’d  like
to  have  been  the  woman  who  made  a  scene.  Instead,
I  sat  there  and  wept,  unable  to  find  the  words

to  say  how  I’d  wanted  to  bear  your  children,
how  much  I  loved  you,  and  when  each  of  them
failed  to  draw  breath,  how  parts  of  me  died,  too.

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